Money Broom Wizard/Transcript
begins with Jeff, Sumo, and Clarence walking through the woods with Clarence holding a stick while Sumo is crawling and sniffing on the ground then stops and gasps. Sumo: up and blocks Jeff and Clarence's path. Our path is blocked! Clarence: a tumbleweed Stand back Sumo-wise. Leave this one to the wizard. Lo siento mi amor-o! the tumbleweed with the stick several times and slows down and stops That one was just a scout! The other bushes will be looking for him. Jeff: Why did we have to walk through the woods? There's a sidewalk. at side while cars are driving Clarence: Fool of an elf! while moving his other eye left and right That's exactly what eyeball would expect us to do. Our path may be treacherous, but the Pizza Swamp is arm quickly upward worth it! Jeff: Okay. shooting a bow and arrow twice in distance finally find Pizza Swamp Clarence: Here it is -- The dreaded Pizza Swamp, Swamp arcade comes into view the most dangerous part of our journey! gang goes into Pizza Swamp Clarence: Whoa! are seen running and playing Look at all these games! Free for the playing. games are shown on-screen. One game says and repeats "Insert Coin!" Clarence: Let's go pick out our prizes! Jeff: Laughs and Sumo go pick out their prizes Jeff: Wait. Really? Clarence, if you pick out your prizes now, you're setting yourself up for dissapoi -- a lazer pointer Oh, my gosh! they have a lazer pointer? That is actually really cool! Clarence: Man, I want that disco ball! Clank Jeff: Really? plays a dinosaur shooting game. Dinosaurs are screaming Belson: Yeah, it's super-easy. All you have to do is shoot 'em in the mouth. It's not even hard. comes out of refrigerator and screams Game voice: Game over. Continue? Belson: What!? Man, these games are so glitchy a $20 bill to Percy, who takes it to a token machine Clarence and his friends Oh, great. Look. Here comes the dork parade. Clarence: Oh, hey, Belson. How's it going, buddy? Belson: Scoffs Whatever. inserts 20 dollar bill on heres a lot of coins, grabs lots of coins, runs and chuckles Sumo: Are we gonna play for tickets or can we play the fun games? Clarence: Oh, sumo. All games will be played and prizes won because I got a fresh %20 dollar bill right in my back pocket. and Jeff's lip opens. Clarence: Right... around... here. grunts, his hand go to his pocket, and it's empty Guys, don't get mad, but I left my money at home. Jeff and Sumo: Aw, Clarence. Clarence: Oh. Wait a minute. I forgot about my wizard dollar in my wizard shoe. off his shoe and pulls out a $1 dollar bill Gotcha! inserts the $1 dollar bill and gets 4 coins Okay, one for the elfling. a coin to Jeff One for the gnome. a coin to Sumo And one for the wizard. flips around up And... I guess we don't need this one. a coin Jeff: Gasps. Clarence, no! screaming and giggling to get a coin. Sumo: Well, if we only get one game, I'm gonna make it count. Clarence: That's the right spirit. I hereby command that, even though we only have one token each, we will have the greatest day in all of the pizza swamp! Belson: Chortling Yeah. Oh, sorry. Yeah, no, I'm sure you will. Laughs Clarence: Okay, guys, let's split up. Donk! Jeff: No, no, Clarence. No. Donk! and Sumo run away Jeff: Ow. Okay, okay. There's got to be a game here that I can get to pay out with just one token. watches Emilio play a game called "Plumb Crazy" Plumb Crazy Arcade: Plumb harder! flushes You're not very good at this. Jeff: No. plays a game called "Big Betty" Unnamed's Mother: Go on, sweetheart. Feed Big Betty. Unnamed boy with green shirt: No! Jeff: Mm... plays Money Broom Arcade: Distorted Money Broom. Jeff: That one might actually work. If I could get the coin to land on just the right spot, just... right... Clanking Clarence: Eenie, Meenie, Miney, Moe. Where it stop, nobody knows. puts the coin on the Money Broom. He fails Money Broom Arcade: Distorted Money Broom. Clarence: Well, that was kind of fun. Jeff: Wh-- Cl-- Clarence, no! You can't just play "Money Broom." You have to know how to beat the system. Clarence: It's okay. It was worth it. Jeff: No. I'll win it back. I'll win them all back. music plays Clarence: Okay. I'm gonna go eat that pizza crust. away to the pizza crust Bloop! Bloop! Bloop! Bloop! Bloop! Bloop! Clarence: pizza crust Mmm. Savory. walks until he finds a table with some food left from a birthday Pop! eats some chocolate cake sees a birthday hat and gasps Clarence: High-pitched Wizard hat. on the birthday hat Ploop. cuts to Sumo looking up for a game to play. He stops and watchs a preview of a game about Keith Mack called "Iron Tiger" Keith Mack: Hey, this is Keith Mack, bass player for Iron Tiger. If you're watching this, our band's already been kidnapped. You're the only one who can save us! Sumo: Gasps Iron Tiger Arcade: Insert coin. Insert coin. Insert coin. Insert coin. goes away cuts to Clarence running and having fun on the arcade runs Clarence: Laughing pretends to be playing a dance game without paying Clarence: Humming watches Clarence pretends to be playing a race game withouth paying Clarence: car noises Out of my way! explosion Oh, crashing! around some games Panting Come on! Come on, everybody! Who's gonna catch me? Panting Try seeing a claw machine What one are you looking at? Try: I want that finger trap, but the claw keeps dropping it. Clarence: That claw always does that. It just always drops it. Sometimes, you just got to use your own hands. Why don't you just reach in there and grab it? Scraping tries to grab the finger trap using his hands, but he can't because his hands are too big Try: My hands are too big. Clarence: Here. Let my try. puts his hands on the claw machine and grabs the finger trap Snap! puts his hands off the claw machine and gives the finger trap to Try Try: Thanks, Clarence. Clarence: Don't worry about it. Just your friendly neighborhood wizard. music plays runs away doing strange sounds with his feet cuts to Sumo walking in the halls, searching for a game to play Arcade 1: Help us! We're trapped! Sumo: Huh? Arcade 2: Feed me! I'm hungry! Arcade 3: Hey, you! You're the next big winner! Sumo: Gasps beeping, voices distort approaches a game at the end of the hall which has a really big machine Beeping Shing! Sumo: Aah. Ahhh. Suction inserts his coin game gives Sumo the real-life stuff for that game Plonk! Sumo: Wha-- Whirring Game: accent Ready. Set... Go! music playing Game: Faster. Faster! cuts to the "Asian Boy" playing whack the seal Asian Boy: Grunts Dang it! Grunts Dang it! Grunts Dang it! Dang it! Game: Great job, clubber. Collect your blubber. Whirring ticket comes from the game Asian Boy: Dang it! another coin Clarence: Hey, you want to know a trick? Just use your hands. Asian Boy: Really? coin Beep Clarence: Ready? Asian Boy: Mm-hmm. and the Asian Boy start hitting the seals that come from the machine barks barks barks twice Asian Boy: Whoa. barks twice barks twice barks barks couldn't hit one of the seals, so he grabs it Clarence: Oh, no, you don't! the seal several times barking rapidly Whirring lot of tickets come from the machine sputters seal bark sizzle Clarence: That'll teach him. Asian Boy: the tickets Thank you. Clarence is gone music plays cuts to Belson and his team preparing to play lazer tag Belson: Grunts You're gonna find out why my friends call me "The Laser Ghost." Nathan: We don't call you that. Clarence: Oh, cool. Can I play with you guys? Belson: Scoffs Yeah, if you want to get blasted by the laser ghost. Clarence: Ooh. yes, please. Dustin: It costs 8 bucks. Clarence: Oh. I don't have that many dollars. Belson: Scoffs Sucks to be you. Come on. Let's go. and his team enter laser tag Clarence: Oh, all right, then. I'll just... eat some more pizza crusts. goes to the birthday table and eats pizza crusts music plays Munch! Clarence: Savory. Actually, that's not bad. eating pizza crusts Munch! Munch! drinks soda pop Glug! Glug! Glug! falls to the floor Thud! cuts to Jeff studying the Money Broom arcade numbers are shown in the screen Jeff: Thinking Okay, hmm. Got to crack this code. Carry the 2. Oh, watch the 1. dissapear Jeff: I got it! Hides behind another game, waiting for someone else to play first walks ignoring the Money Broom game Jeff: Come on. walks ignoring the Money Broom game Jeff: Groans Dang it! Just one more play. is about to play Money Broom, but she changes her mind and walks away Jeff: Dang it. Chelsea stops and plays Money Broom one time, and loses Jeff: Yes. Come on, baby. plays Money Broom Arcade: Distorted Money Broom. walks away Jeff: Yes. That's the eight person. So, if it puts out every nine times, that means that the next quarter's got to be a winner! stops Poink! grabs a coin she founds in the floor Jeff can put his coin in the game, Chelsea pushes him with her hair Puff! Jeff: Groans puts her coin in the game and wins a lot of tickets Money Broom Arcade: Winner, winner, winner! Chelsea: Squeals Jeff: Oh, no! No, no, no, no, no, no, n-o-o-o! cuts to Clarence trying to help Guyler in a bowling game hits the glass above the balls for the game Clarence: See, the trick with this one is, you just got to use your wizard... hand. Hmm. Wizard hands don't work on this one. everywhere Hmm. Ah. Wizard basketball! a ball from a basketball game Grunts back to the game Guyler was trying to play Daddy needs a new disco ball. the ball Grunts the ball and hits the game Whoosh! cuts to Sumo playing, and the glasses kid watches him music plays ball hits the glasses kid Glasses Kid: Ow! cuts to Jeff counting the coins on the Money Broom Jeff: 17, 18, 19, 20, 21... ball hits the Money Broom Jeff: Unh! falls Jeff: Oh? lot of tickets come from the game Money Broom Arcade: Winner, winner, winner! Jeff: I did it! I beat the house! Clarence: Panting Jeff, we're rich! We're rich! some tickets We can have anything that we want! cuts to Clarence and Jeff on the prizes section Clarence: Disco ball, please. Prizes girl gives Clarence a disco ball Jeff: I'll have the laser pointer. Prizes girl gives Jeff a laser pointer Clarence: Finally, finger disco. on the disco ball and pretends his fingers are dancing Vocalizing turns on his laser pointer, but he can't see it because it's too bright there Clarence: How's your laser? Jeff: It -- it's too bright in here. You can't really see it. Clarence: Well, let's try in there, where it's dark. points the entrance of Laser Tag Jeff: Okay. and Jeff enter Laser Tag Jeff: on the laser pointer Oh, yeah. This works great in the dark. Clarence: Whoa! Look at this place! It's -- it's so beautiful! shoots Percy with his laser gun Percy: No! I'm already dead! Ow! Belson: evilly Clarence and Jeff Hey! Hey, how did those guys get in here? Hey, get out of here! You don't even have vests on! Clarence: Hey, Belson. Look what I got. Jeff is pointing the laser pointer nowhere, Clarence hands up with his disco ball and a lot of lasers come from the ball, which just hit everyone in there Percy: Aaaaaah! Dustin: Aah-gl-gl-gl! Nathan: Gasps off the stairs Unh! Unh! Unh! Unh! Belson: No. No! N-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o!! Clarence: Wizard ball. Unseen Man: Echoing Congratulations, space cadet. I'm promoting you to cosmic commander. picture of Clarence with the disco ball full of lasers is shown in one of the game's screens Clarence: Oh, cool. That's me. Belson: What?! They're not even playing! cuts to Clarence and Jeff walking in the arcade, Clarence hits his "cosmic commander" thing in his shirt with the disco ball" Clinking Clarence: I think this thing is real silver. cuts to Dustin, Nathan, and Belson eating pizza. Belson is mad Nathan: Nice job, "Laser Ghost." Dustin: Laughs Belson: Shut up. Nathan: What? I though you liked being called that. Dustin: Laughs Belson: Groans cuts back to Clarence and Jeff. Both stop Jeff: I have to say, I'm pretty surprised we got this far with just one dollar. Clarence: Unh-unh-unh. Not just any dollar. It was a wizard dollar. Jeff: Whatever. music plays Clarence: Come along, Sumo-wise. Our work here is done. Sumo: as the game he played Yes, master Clarence. crackling and Sumo leave, Clarence wait for them Clarence: Bye, Pizza Swamp. full view of the Pizza Swamp inside is seen Clarence: blows the arcade End Category:Transcripts Category:Season 1